Finally, BACON FRIED BASTARD

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 14, 2016 by dwbarbee

It’s finally arrived. Bacon Fried Bastard, my shit-faced junglepunk monster-mash take on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, is HERE. It’s available for pre-order in both paperback and Kindle, and will be officially unleashed this Friday. I hope everyone goes to Amazon and buys a copy, reads that copy, and then tells the world what they think of it. All of those things would be a fantastic help, and with recent events causing so much turmoil, I guess I hope that this book can provide a little entertainment in an otherwise fucked up world. It’s about a pig-man who does piggish things, so…

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Huge thanks to Jim Agpalza for that cover art, Kevin Donihe for all his editing help, and, as always, my publisher Eraserhead Press.

Out Now: A Terrible Thing

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on November 8, 2016 by dwbarbee

Carrion 555 was kind enough to include my story “The Devil’s Mustard” in their anthology, A TERRIBLE THING. It’s a big book of badass tales about the golden terror called Carcosa. Plus this marks the first time anything of mine has had a cover by Matthew Revert, who designs truly righteous book covers. Very excited for this one. You can get a copy here.

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Celebrate the 20th anniversary of Atlantean Publishing with this revised and expanded edition of our King In Yellow anthology. Together with Carrion Blue 555, this collaborative release adds to the original line-up a dozen new tales of Hastur and the Hyades, Cassilda and Camilla. Avert your gaze from dim Carcosa, and trust not the hands of a living god.

Bacon Fried Bastard COVER ART

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on November 1, 2016 by dwbarbee

The time has finally come! The cover art and formatting for Bacon Fried Bastard has been finished and it’s almost time for it to hit the printer. Here’s the wraparound cover and the text from the back.

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“Bacon Fried Bastard is a great bizarro novel about the power alcohol has to both create and destroy. Take it from an alcoholic. Oh, and there’s bacon too!” –Alan Clarke

“Bacon Fried Bastard is weird, wild, boozy, hyperviolent, dirty, and more fun than a feral hog on blow set loose on a pompous wedding reception.” –Gabino Iglesias

“I know when I pick up a David W Barbee book, I can expect a unique and strange journey. Bacon Fried Bastard is no exception!” –Matthew Vaughn

He was just another man with a drinking problem. Only, alcohol transformed this man into a beastly hulk named Piggly Swiggly. And since he’s always drunk, big brutal Piggly has drowned the human half in a sea of booze.

After yet another rampaging bender, Piggly Swiggly awakes in a sprawling metropolis full of crocodile zeppelins, greasy bacon addicts, and worse: prohibition. Trapped in this strange tee-totaled town, he must keep his buzz going or else revert to his weak and very killable human form. But even then Piggly Swiggly’s depraved existence may become his undoing, especially when gangsters are plotting to cut off his snout, a pig-loving princess is looking to steal his heart, and he must face the worst torture of all…sobriety.

Like a shit-faced Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Bacon Fried Bastard is a brutal bizarro thriller of gangland violence, junkie romance, and alcoholic pork.

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!

After five long years, another one of my books will be turned into BIZARRO BEER. The first beer based on one of my books was Suckhole Stout (two bottles of which I tried to bring home with me but the TSA confiscated them at the airport). This time it’s Bacon Fried Bastard Farmhouse Ale! Here it is with all the other beers brewed for this year’s BizarroCon. I’m honored to be included and excited to taste it.

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Available Now: Tall Tales with Short Cocks vol. 5

Posted in Uncategorized on October 25, 2016 by dwbarbee

There’s a new anthology out from Rooster Republic Press, and I’m in it!  My story is called “Curse of the Sidekick Scrotum” and it’s sort of a self-aware bizarro superhero story. Get the anthology here. The description is below, along with some badass cover art and a magnificent table of contents. A lot of great writers in this one.

In the fifth installment of Rooster Republic’s flagship anthology series, we have some really tremendous fiction. It’s great. You can’t beat fiction like this. A lot of kids come up to me and they tell me how great they think this fiction is. I believe them. Believe me, it’s a great collection with some fantastic authors giving us their best work. I believe me. Why don’t you? You too good for all this fun, freaky, and far-out fiction? Maybe go read a book about bird watching, you voyeuristic pervert. This anthology is for connoisseurs who are sick of watching birds. They want to look at words—not at our fine feathered friends. Though, if I’m being honest, I’ve never met a bird I would call my friend. Sure, those doves helped me move. BUT I GAVE THEM BIRDSEED. Real friends don’t demand food from you. They just help you move, wish you luck, and then leave forever until you need them again. The stories in this anthology will be great friends. You can read them, put them back on the shelf, and pull them out whenever you feel like it. Or if you don’t feel like it, they aren’t going to call you up and be all like, “Hey, wanna get something to eat at that new taco cart I saw on the corner of Johnson and Johnson?” That would be the end of American fiction, I can tell you. Not that all the authors in this collection are Americans. Some are UKish, and some, I assume, are also good people. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Chickens Are Birds. Rooster Republic 2016!!!!!

Featuring stories by: Bradley Sands, Danger Slater, Douglas Hackle, Jessica McHugh, Andrew Wayne Adams, Jon Konrath, Jeff Burk, Dustin Reade, Jamie Grefe, David W. Barbee, Madeleine Swann, John McNee, Nicholaus Patnaude, Crystal Babb, Shamus McCarty, Edmund Colell, MP Johnson, Mike Fugere Jr. and Timothy W. Long.

 

Con Report: Monsteramacon ’16

Posted in Uncategorized on October 18, 2016 by dwbarbee

It’s time to report on my latest convention visit! Two weekends ago I attended Atlanta’s MONSTERAMACON. I’ve been incorporating more cons into my schedule because they’re not just a great way to meet people and sell books, but I actually enjoy them. I love seeing weird people in weird costumes. I love all the crazy shit that other vendors are hawking. I love when people come to my table and see a bizarro book for the first time. Most of all I love selling some damn books.

But this trip wasn’t all fun and games. While I’m happy to report that I sold enough books and even enjoyed myself, this convention was defined for me by some real roller-coaster-of-emotions shit. Before Monsterama I hadn’t been to a con in almost a year, and leading up to that weekend I was feeling a lot of depression and generalized terror. Part of it was social anxiety, but it was also a week where things were just going wrong on every front. Even Donald Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” tape leaked the day before the con, like a bad omen. I seriously felt like I was scheduled to have a plane fall out of the sky and crash into the exact spot I was standing in.

Of course, I’m still here. Everything turned out fine. I made it to the con safely, I sold some books, talked to some fellow nerds, and met a very young girl who kept begging her grandpa for a Chucky doll. It was a really good time for nine straight hours of sitting at a table. As usual, it was never as bad as I felt it was. The depression and anxiety sort of built themselves up that week only to come toppling down as soon as I threw myself out into the world. That’s the feeling I was left with after this con. In spite of all my instincts, a plane didn’t fall out of the sky and hit me.

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This is the only picture I took of the con. I sat directly beneath it. It was ominous and beautiful at the same time, like the eye of Robo-God. I’ve always gotten this sense of dread before I do anything big, but this time it was especially hard. I hope, as I attend more conventions in the future, that this feeling dissipates so that I can start stressing about even bigger plans. Because I don’t think the stress ever goes away. You just overcome it and then move on to the next thing that terrifies you.

The Night’s Neon Fangs @ Box of Bizarro

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on September 19, 2016 by dwbarbee

Lately, all of my focus has been on my next book, Bacon Fried Bastard. I’ve been busy with edits, promotional art, lining up con appearances, and trying to get people on board with a drunk pig monster. But during all that, William Box brought a little attention to my previous book, The Night’s Neon Fangs. He was kind enough to write a quick review over at his blog.

He says, “The Night’s Neon Fangs, in its entirety, is entertaining and cohesive. It is hard to find a werewolf, western, detective, or biblical story that hasn’t been written the same exact way a hundred times. David W. Barbie creates worlds within your favorite genres that will change the way you view…well, everything.” Thanks, Mr. Box. Head over to Box of Bizarro to check out the review.

Bacon Fried Bastard: THE POSTER

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on September 8, 2016 by dwbarbee

I’m VERY happy to announce that my next book has a promotional poster that’s as gorgeous and gruesome as the book itself. I’ve had a vision of floating crocodiles since I was a kid, and with Bacon Fried Bastard I finally had the junglepunk setting to feature them in a story. And as the scaly icing on the reptillian cake, I contacted Nick “The Hat” Gucker to create a poster that would visualize this monstrosity. As always he did a bang up job.

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Now I just have to get this righteous poster (and the book it’s based on) to the printer. Huge thanks to the talented Mr. Gucker. Bacon Fried Bastard will be coming soon…