Christmas promotions for Bacon Fried Bastard have been crazy as hell. I’ve gotten a ton of reviews, mailed out prizes, and plan on mailing out MORE prizes. I plan to keep this train rolling well into 2017, but for now I want to make sure everyone sees the craziest thing I did this holiday season to promote my new book: bacon frying a copy. Thanks to Joseph Bouthiette for thinking this up and then buying two copies of BFB (one to read, and one for me to cook in my kitchen). Hope everyone had a happy holiday. Piggly Swiggly and I will see you soon…
Frank Edler of the Bizzong! Podcast invited me on yesterday to talk about Bacon Fried Bastard and the bizarro genre.
It was a really good conversation, because we got to talk a lot about ME and MY BOOK and MY WRITING CAREER. Thanks go out to my wife who looked after the kid so I could sit alone and talk about myself over the internet. Bizzong is one of my favorite podcasts because it really shines a light on bizarro and weird stuff in general. Like I told Frank, there was a time when bizarro didn’t have these sorts of platforms. The fact that we do now is a huge sign of progress in our bid to take over the world with weird books. Check out the episode here.
It’s been over two weeks since I came home from BizarroCon 2016 in Portland. Mostly I’ve been fighting a respiratory infection and eating Thanksgiving leftovers, which are pretty good excuses for not posting this Con Report until now. I’m even going to try to describe my experiences at the convention itself instead of just name-checking a bunch of people like I did on this blog last year. Generally speaking, BizarroCon is just an awesome time with good friends. It’s a lot like a family reunion, and it was nice to see everybody and just hang out for a few days.
The most important person I spent time with was Kevin Donihe, a fellow author and my editor. That’s us in the picture above celebrating the release of BACON FRIED BASTARD. We both worked really hard on it. On my first night in Portland I made sure to buy Kevin dinner and talk to him about the future, especially how my prose can improve so that he doesn’t get eye cancer just looking at the words I write. Several of Donihe’s eyes have been removed thanks to my early drafts.
Speaking of the future, I’ve been making plans to attend more conventions, and wouldn’t you know it, Brian Keene insisted that I make it to Virginia this summer to attend Scares that Care. That’s the back of Brian’s head in that picture above. When he told me to come to VA, I couldn’t refuse, especially because he wants me to appear on his podcast, The Horror Show. I also received a really unexpected gift. Christine Morgan made an entire series of Barbie dolls made into characters from bizarro books, and one of them was Psyche Delia from Thunderpussy. Then she GAVE it to me, and now it sits at home on my nightstand next to my bottle of Farmhouse Ale.
That’s right, BACON FRIED BASTARD had a special beer brewed for its release! I haven’t had this honor since A TOWN CALLED SUCKHOLE came out five years ago. The beer was excellent, my reading was a hit, and lots of people wanted to buy my new book. This was the best part of the con, and I tried to soak it in as much as possible. That level of attention can be rare, so it’s important to make the most of it. So I returned home with a ton of new books, t-shirts, a beer bottle, and a Barbie doll. It got to be so packed in my bag that someone had to ride with a bottle up his ass. Luckily, Ole Toadlicker has been through worse. Those who saw his performance: you will see him again….
So the convention’s over, Thanksgiving is over, and soon Christmas will be over, too. But before that happens you should know about my BACON FRIED BASTARD CHRISTMAS REVIEW CONTEST! Anyone, and I mean anyone, who reviews BFB on Amazon will be entered to win one of five posters along with a ton of other prizes, mailed directly to you. The goal is to get 25 reviews by December 25th. If you can give me a good Christmas, I’ll give you a one-in-five chance to win some AWESOME STUFF. Just review it and you’re in! Buying the book and reading it are also pretty helpful, but if the goal gets met I won’t ask any questions. You’ve got less than three weeks, so get on the bacon train! We’re already a fifth of the way there!
It’s finally arrived. Bacon Fried Bastard, my shit-faced junglepunk monster-mash take on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, is HERE. It’s available for pre-order in both paperback and Kindle, and will be officially unleashed this Friday. I hope everyone goes to Amazon and buys a copy, reads that copy, and then tells the world what they think of it. All of those things would be a fantastic help, and with recent events causing so much turmoil, I guess I hope that this book can provide a little entertainment in an otherwise fucked up world. It’s about a pig-man who does piggish things, so…
Huge thanks to Jim Agpalza for that cover art, Kevin Donihe for all his editing help, and, as always, my publisher Eraserhead Press.
Carrion 555 was kind enough to include my story “The Devil’s Mustard” in their anthology, A TERRIBLE THING. It’s a big book of badass tales about the golden terror called Carcosa. Plus this marks the first time anything of mine has had a cover by Matthew Revert, who designs truly righteous book covers. Very excited for this one. You can get a copy here.
Celebrate the 20th anniversary of Atlantean Publishing with this revised and expanded edition of our King In Yellow anthology. Together with Carrion Blue 555, this collaborative release adds to the original line-up a dozen new tales of Hastur and the Hyades, Cassilda and Camilla. Avert your gaze from dim Carcosa, and trust not the hands of a living god.
The time has finally come! The cover art and formatting for Bacon Fried Bastard has been finished and it’s almost time for it to hit the printer. Here’s the wraparound cover and the text from the back.
“Bacon Fried Bastard is a great bizarro novel about the power alcohol has to both create and destroy. Take it from an alcoholic. Oh, and there’s bacon too!” –Alan Clarke
“Bacon Fried Bastard is weird, wild, boozy, hyperviolent, dirty, and more fun than a feral hog on blow set loose on a pompous wedding reception.” –Gabino Iglesias
“I know when I pick up a David W Barbee book, I can expect a unique and strange journey. Bacon Fried Bastard is no exception!” –Matthew Vaughn
He was just another man with a drinking problem. Only, alcohol transformed this man into a beastly hulk named Piggly Swiggly. And since he’s always drunk, big brutal Piggly has drowned the human half in a sea of booze.
After yet another rampaging bender, Piggly Swiggly awakes in a sprawling metropolis full of crocodile zeppelins, greasy bacon addicts, and worse: prohibition. Trapped in this strange tee-totaled town, he must keep his buzz going or else revert to his weak and very killable human form. But even then Piggly Swiggly’s depraved existence may become his undoing, especially when gangsters are plotting to cut off his snout, a pig-loving princess is looking to steal his heart, and he must face the worst torture of all…sobriety.
Like a shit-faced Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Bacon Fried Bastard is a brutal bizarro thriller of gangland violence, junkie romance, and alcoholic pork.
BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!
After five long years, another one of my books will be turned into BIZARRO BEER. The first beer based on one of my books was Suckhole Stout (two bottles of which I tried to bring home with me but the TSA confiscated them at the airport). This time it’s Bacon Fried Bastard Farmhouse Ale! Here it is with all the other beers brewed for this year’s BizarroCon. I’m honored to be included and excited to taste it.
There’s a new anthology out from Rooster Republic Press, and I’m in it! My story is called “Curse of the Sidekick Scrotum” and it’s sort of a self-aware bizarro superhero story. Get the anthology here. The description is below, along with some badass cover art and a magnificent table of contents. A lot of great writers in this one.
In the fifth installment of Rooster Republic’s flagship anthology series, we have some really tremendous fiction. It’s great. You can’t beat fiction like this. A lot of kids come up to me and they tell me how great they think this fiction is. I believe them. Believe me, it’s a great collection with some fantastic authors giving us their best work. I believe me. Why don’t you? You too good for all this fun, freaky, and far-out fiction? Maybe go read a book about bird watching, you voyeuristic pervert. This anthology is for connoisseurs who are sick of watching birds. They want to look at words—not at our fine feathered friends. Though, if I’m being honest, I’ve never met a bird I would call my friend. Sure, those doves helped me move. BUT I GAVE THEM BIRDSEED. Real friends don’t demand food from you. They just help you move, wish you luck, and then leave forever until you need them again. The stories in this anthology will be great friends. You can read them, put them back on the shelf, and pull them out whenever you feel like it. Or if you don’t feel like it, they aren’t going to call you up and be all like, “Hey, wanna get something to eat at that new taco cart I saw on the corner of Johnson and Johnson?” That would be the end of American fiction, I can tell you. Not that all the authors in this collection are Americans. Some are UKish, and some, I assume, are also good people. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Chickens Are Birds. Rooster Republic 2016!!!!!
Featuring stories by: Bradley Sands, Danger Slater, Douglas Hackle, Jessica McHugh, Andrew Wayne Adams, Jon Konrath, Jeff Burk, Dustin Reade, Jamie Grefe, David W. Barbee, Madeleine Swann, John McNee, Nicholaus Patnaude, Crystal Babb, Shamus McCarty, Edmund Colell, MP Johnson, Mike Fugere Jr. and Timothy W. Long.