Laser House on KINDLE UNLIMITED

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 4, 2019 by dwbarbee

Because Excession Press is run by a bunch of maniacs, LASER HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE is now available on Kindle Unlimited (which is to say: IT’S FREE!). Not all of my books are even available for kindle, and none of them are free, so get yourself a copy and if you enjoy it, please leave a review! Amazon reviews are still hugely important for indie books like mine.

Laser Final Cover

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Pre-order Laser House on the Prairie!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on May 1, 2019 by dwbarbee

Laser Final Cover

With an upgraded cover and a release date of Cinco de Mayo, LASER HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE IS NOW UPON US!

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You can now pre-order the Kindle version of Laser House (and probably the print version by the time you’re reading this). Any and all reviewers should contact me or Excession Press about review copies. Speaking of reviews: GIVEAWAY

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If you leave a review of Laser House on the Prairie on the Amazon page (and let me know about it, of course), you will receive a care package in the mail containing cool artwork, prizes, and glow in the dark stuff. And all you gotta do is leave a review of my little hypergeek cyberwestern shoot-em-up-stravaganza.

COMING SOON: Laser House on the Prairie

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on April 2, 2019 by dwbarbee

Check out the cover art and description for my next book, which will be the debut publication from the good folks at Excession Press (putting out high-quality sci-fi and horror in a future near you). They worked very hard on this book and I still can’t thank them enough. Amazon links and promotional gimmicks will soon follow, but for now, drink in this sexy sumbitch:

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On a lawless frontier of fiber optic plains, Jeph longs only for a simple life with his husband in their house that floats on a laser beam. Then comes a posse of his old war buddies—the coolest, baddest, razor-sharpest gunslingers on the prairie. They’re on a quest to steal the Red Orb, the world’s most addictive laser weapon, and they want Jeph’s tireless skills with a gun.

All that stands in their way are a bunch of NERDS.

Obsessive, entitles, consumerist, know-it-all nerds, squirreled away in a decadent secret city where even an ancient doomsday device can be lost to the detritus of pop culture. Nerds are the opposite of cool—speaking in references and catchphrases—mindlessly worshipping the convoluted mythologies of their favorite STUFF. They’ve no idea that the smoothest criminals in the land are coming to rob them blind.

It should be an easy score, but nerds ruin everything. Old Jeph will have to fight for his life to escape this quagmire of toxic fandom and return to his LASER HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE.

Zombie Punks Fuck Off (featuring my story “The Ballad of Hank Williams XXX”)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on September 25, 2018 by dwbarbee

Today’s REAL special. I’ve been published again! ZOMBIE PUNKS FUCK OFF was edited by Sam Richard of Weirdpunk Books. The title and cover art make a promise that the stories inside will definitely deliver. My story is a futuristic rock star tale about the thirtieth Hank Williams, who will be the punkest man in the universe since the Williams’ line just gets more badass with each generation. Anyway, Weirdpunk is a great small press and they’ve teamed up with CLASH BOOKS to distribute this antho, which is great because the folks at CLASH are sharp as hell. Huge thanks to Sam and to Clash for their hard work. I’m especially proud of my story in this one, and I hope you all like it, too.

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We’ve been hearing forever that Punk is Dead. And zombies stories are even deader. ZOMBIE PUNKS, FUCK OFF is here to show that is bullshit. This antho is loaded with 14 stories of gnawing teeth, shredded entrails, rotting masses, punk as fuck fury, post-punk weirdness, and beautiful decay. Within these pages are a touring Christian Punk band run afoul of a horde of living dead, a group of zombie-infected anarcho-punks staging a revolution in London, Hank William’s far-distant great-grandson struggling against the restraints of universal fame, and guitars that gently eat.

ZOMBIE PUNKS FUCK OFF will be available on October 9th, but you can preorder it through Amazon or Clashbooks

Get a box full of taters for my newest book, TATERSKINHEADS

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on September 10, 2018 by dwbarbee

Alright, so after a whirlwind of nonsense my latest book is available from Bizarro Pulp Press! It’s called TATERSKINHEADS, it started as a joke on social media, and now it’s a bloody greasepit noir about corrupt cops, heavily armed racists, and murderous potato monsters. It’s kinda like a season of True Detective that took place mostly at a Waffle House that had a xenomorph in it. It’s great, and you can buy it at Amazon through the link provided below…

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…or…

…you can sign up to get your very own personalized TATERCRATE! What the hell is Tatercrate? It’s like Lootcrate with potatoes, ya dummy. It’s this: You can get a copy of Taterskinheads that’ll be signed and personalized just for you! It’ll be mailed directly inside a box that’ll be way too big for some paper bound up by the small press machine. Tatercrate will also include: Comic books! Horror posters! Horror movies! Cards! Promotional art from some of my previous books! And best of all: CUSTOM TATER-HEADED ACTION FIGURES! This little detail is extra special, because they’re not done yet. You’ll see them later this week, but more important than that, there are only SIX of them! SIX CUSTOMIZED TATERCRATES FULL OF SO MUCH STUFF!

So how do you sign up? PayPal me a measly $12.00 of American currency at barbee478@yahoo.com and include your mailing info and any other request you might have. I’m a small press author, so for $12.00 I’ll pretty much do anything. Check out the link below, and if you want to taste my taters, sign on up. If you can’t decide, just wait until you see my weird potato-headed children.

Check it out on AMAZON

“To Be One With You” (featuring my story “Cock Necked”)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on August 13, 2018 by dwbarbee

Status Update: Jimbo Yojimbo is still getting reviews HERE and THERE, and Taterskinheads is very close to being printed, and I’m moving into a new house, and oh yeah, here’s an anthology I’m in. I wrote this last year at the Ghost Town Writer’s Retreat, which wasn’t so bad if you shut your eyes hard enough. I wrote a story for this titled “Cock Necked,” which is about a man who finds a parasitic worm growing in his… neck.

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To Be One With You; An Anthology of Parasitic Horror is St Rooster Books first anthology. This collection features horrifying, intelligent, and disgusting journeys into the relationship between host and parasite. Featuring work by Paul Kane, Marie O’Regan, Jeffery X Martin, David W Barbee, Ross Peterson, Peter Oliver Wonder, Adam Millard, and DJ Tyrer.

Get it here

Introducing a brand new publisher of weird and excellent fiction: EXCESSION PRESS

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on July 23, 2018 by dwbarbee

My good friends Karl and Whitney Fischer have started their own press for weird, dark, and excellent fiction. I will definitely be submitting something to Excession, and I hope that others do the same. The Fischers have good taste and a ton of guts, and I suspect that Excession will become a powerful voice for weird books. Below is their submission call…

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Excession Press is now open to submissions!

Our reading period runs July 23rd 2018 – Sept. 30th 2018.

What We Want:
Excession Press is looking for original manuscripts 30,000 – 60,000 words in length that can be described as horror, science fiction, weird western, or fantasy. Our word count limit is firm, +/- a few hundred words.
We want high quality, character-driven narratives with imaginative settings and creative conflicts that will engage readers.
We want strong, memorable prose – every bit as important as the story itself.
We like our fiction to be surreal and dark, but more than anything, we want it well-written and well-paced.
Simultaneous submissions are acceptable but we ask that you let us know at time of submission, and we ask that you give us notice if your manuscript is accepted elsewhere.

What We *DON’T* Want:
No reprints or incomplete manuscripts.
No books that are part of a series – your submission should function as a standalone narrative.
No short story collections, poetry, or non-fiction.
No experimental formats or images – submissions should be text only.
No queries. Please have something submission-ready.

Submission Format:
File must be in a .doc, .docx, or .rtf format.
12 pt. Times New Roman font.
Double-spaced with .25″ indents and 1″ margins.
The first page should have author name, an email address, title of your submission, and total word count. Every page should have author name, title, and page number.

How to Submit:
Email submissions as an attached file to excessionpress@gmail.com
Include in the body of your email a brief (3-5 sentence) description of your submission and an even briefer (1-2 sentence) description of yourself.

Response Times:
We’re a small team. If we like your manuscript, expect a response 3-6 months from date of submission. We’re unlikely to send rejections but will do so in noteworthy cases.

Payment and Rights:
Excession Press offers a $300 advance on royalties, with 40% royalties on net revenue from print sales and 30% royalties on net revenue from digital sales thereafter.
Authors will have the ability to purchase their titles at cost.
Excession Press will be granted the right to publish and distribute your work worldwide in paperback and ebook formats. All other rights will be retained by the author.