A Zone of Zombies, Season 6

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on June 20, 2016 by dwbarbee

Ah, it’s that time of year again. The time for dead characters from a TV show rendered in MSPaint, the most glorious of artistic mediums. I couldn’t start this season’s batch until halfway through the season because I had editing to do on my next book, but somehow I finished just in time for Hodor’s big scene. I also did Stannis, just because I’m a fan of the character, and Ramsey, whose death on last night’s episode was one of the most satisfying ever.

hodor

stannis

(Note: we never saw Stannis die, so he has to tell you he’s dead)

ramsay

Prelim Voting for the 2015 Wonderland Book Award

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 7, 2016 by dwbarbee

I’ve just sent in my top three books in the Novel and Collection categories. You can vote by emailing your 1st, 2nd, and 3rd votes to bizarrocon@gmail.com with the subject line “Wonderland Book Award Preliminary Ballot.” Preliminary voting ends August 1st. The top books in this round of voting will be the nominees for this year’s Wonderland Award. I have to mention that my latest book is on this list, but there are a ton of great books to choose from. The final vote is for BizarroCon attendees only, but this ballot is open to the public. So vote!

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Best Novel
A God of Hungry Walls by Garrett Cook
Animal Money by Michael Cisco
Arachnophile by Betty Rocksteady
As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face by Carlton Mellick III
Benjamin by Pedro Proenca
Biomelt by Carlton Mellick III
Boiled Americans by Michael Allen Rose
Cattle Cult Kill Kill by MP Johnson
Clownfellas by Carlton Mellick III
Domo ArigaDIE!!! by Jamie Grefe
Elephant Vice by Chris Meekings
Everyone Gets Eaten by Ben Brooks
Jigsaw Youth by Tiffany Scandal
King Space Void by Anthony Trevino
Live Bait by Cameron Pierce
Pixiegate Madoka by Michael Sean LeSueur
Rainbows Suck by Madeleine Swann
Ritualistic Human Sacrifice by C.V. Hunt
Rock ‘N’ Roll Headcase by Lee Widener
Scary People by Kyle Muntz
Sick Pack by MP Johnson
Skullcrack City by Jeremy Robert Johnson
Slasher Camp for Nerd Dorks by Christoph Paul
Texas Chainsaw Mantis by Kevin Strange
The Bohemian Guide to Monogamy by Andrew Armacost
The Book of Adventures by Gregory Bouthiette
The Lost Level by Brian Keene
Towers by Karl Fischer
White City by Seb Doubinsky
X’s for Eyes by Laird Barron
Zero Saints by Gabino Iglesias

Best Collection
Amazing Punk Stories by David Agranoff
Battle Without Honor or Humanity: Volume 1 by D. Harlan Wilson
Beautiful Madness by S.T. Cartledge
Midnight Earwig Buffet by Andrew Goldfarb
Our Love Will Go the Way of the Salmon by Cameron Pierce
Rules of Appropriate Conduct by Kirsten Alene
Stealing Propeller Hats from the Dead by David James Keaton
Strategies Against Nature by Cody Goodfellow
The Art of Horrible People by John Skipp
The Night’s Neon Fangs by David Barbee
The Pulse Between Dimensions and the Desert by Rios de la Luz
The Underside of the Rainbow by B.E. Burkhead
Wet and Screaming by Shane McKenzie
You Might Just Make It Out of This Alive by Garrett Cook

Bacon Fried Bastard Character Art

Posted in Uncategorized on May 10, 2016 by dwbarbee

My next novel is called BACON FRIED BASTARD. I won’t tell you anything about it yet, but I will totally show you these character portraits made by my good friend and even greater talent, Jim Agpalza.

Piggly

Ofelia

Elmira

#2 Cyborg

I’m keeping mum about the book’s details, but I think you almost get what the story’s about just through these portraits. Gigantic thanks to Jim again (you can buy his art in all sorts of formats on Redbubble like I do, or hit up jimagpalza.com). I’m thinking of making these portraits into trading cards or stickers, but I’m not sure yet. Open to suggestions!

The Night’s Neon Fangs @ Dead End Follies

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on February 29, 2016 by dwbarbee

Dead End Follies is a great review site that covers a wide range of subjects and has lately taken an interest in bizarro fiction. The editor, Benoit, was kind enough to review The Night’s Neon Fangs and I really liked what he had to say.

“The Night’s Neon Fangs is an enigma shrouded in colorful candy wrapper with a fleeting and intangible meaning… It’s bleak, but it’s oddly deep and moving.”

Thanks to Dead End Follies for this review, which you can check out here.

Walk Hand In Hand Into Extinction (with me)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on January 26, 2016 by dwbarbee

The first season of True Detective is one of my favorite things ever. It’s beautiful, it’s mean, and so far it’s a completely one-of-a-kind story. So I’m quite honored to have a story included in “Walk Hand in Hand Into Extinction”, an anthology of stories inspired by True Detective and published by Clash Books. I wrote this story fairly quickly and sent it in because I’m such a fan of the concept. Lo and behold, the editor, Christoph Paul, had this to say:

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As you can see, my story is called “The Yeller King.” And because I wrote it, it’s kind of weird. This book is beautifully formatted, extremely depressing, and you can get the paperback or kindle now on Amazon.com

Pre-Order Bizarro Trading Cards!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on January 20, 2016 by dwbarbee

Box of Bizarro has created something pretty damn cool: trading cards based on some of the authors in the bizarro fiction scene. These trading cards feature our made-for-writing faces on one side and weird factoids on the other. Featured authors include Carlton Mellick III, Bruce Taylor, Tom Lucas, John Wayne Communale, Pedro Proenca, and ME.

TradingCardPrices

Head over to Box of Bizarro to pre-order some trading cards that you’ll never want to trade away.

BizarroCon 2015: Bizarro is Spanish for Courageous

Posted in Uncategorized on November 19, 2015 by dwbarbee

Well, today’s my birthday and exactly two weeks ago I flew out to Portland again for the EIGHTH annual BizarroCon. It was huge, it was hilarious, and for a change I actually didn’t get sick. The Sunday after a convention I’m usually sick, but this time my physical form felt as vibrant and energized as my astral form. I then went Super Saiyan and destroyed Mount Hood. Here’s what else happened.

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Found in the Edgefield bathroom. It made me miss my baby.

My wife dropped me off at the airport on Thursday and I wind up meeting another BizarroCon attendee (Nicholaus Patnaude) while waiting for the plane. Pretty cool. I read J. David Osborne’s story from the latest Bizarro Starter Kit on the plane. When we land Nicholaus and I hitch a ride with MP Johnson to Edgefield. As soon as I arrived I checked in and started seeing/hugging people. When I finally got a chance to check my phone I saw that I’d won a Facebook contest for the latest David James Keaton book (huge thanks to him and Max Booth). Running on coffee fumes, I spent Thursday evening talking to Alan Clarke about alcoholism and insanity, and then turned in early. I got a full night’s sleep, another BizarroCon first for me, and woke up early as hell for Friday.

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Books I bought. You better buy them too.

On Friday I just hung out all day. I chilled with Adam Millard and John Wayne Communale. I chilled with Carlton Mellick III and Rose O’Keefe, my publisher. We made some crazy plans that I can’t talk about yet, but they’re important enough that I’m going to learn to Skype. I went to a highly informative workshop with Jeremy Robert Johnson, where we learned some intricate techniques on how to sling a book (it’s NOT all in the wrist, as I’d been told). Later I wound up chilling a lot with Karl Fischer and his wife, and also MP Johnson. Eventually I got to catch up with Jim Agpalza and we decided to make some insane plans for my next book. I even roped Nick Gucker into it as well, so two of my absolute favorite artists are going to be helping me create some really rad shit.

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Rad shirt = rad shit

Friday night were readings, which were hilarious and entertaining as always. I talked with Bradley Sands about comics, and then found Sam McCanna of Skurvy Ink. He made an awesome shirt for The Night’s Neon Fangs. I bought a bunch and gave them away. Also they GLOW IN THE FREAKING DARK, and since we were in Portland and it was cloudy all weekend, they pretty much glowed all the time. I had a reading at some point, paired up with Scott “MULTI-CRABS” Cole. I read a tale told by an apocalyptic human-hating frog. Cameron Pierce (whose opinion I value quite a bit) told me it was great and that he wanted to read a manuscript of it. So there’s another story I’m going to be working on, hopefully with another frog reading at next year’s BizarroCon. More and more rad shit kept happening.

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Some swag I got from Adam Millard, Laura Lee Bahr, Andrew Goldfarb, and a comic made by John Wayne Communale

And it ain’t even over yet. Saturday featured MORE readings (and also my favorite readings) by: Tiffany Scandal, Rio de la Luz, and Gabino Iglesias, all featured during the Broken River Books reading. Karl Fischer also destroyed the room during the NBAS reading. Later came the Wonderland Awards (winners: Violet LeVoit and MP Johnson) and the Ultimate Bizarro Showdown, where I once again pointed my finger at the crowd and yelled a bunch of stuff. I didn’t win the Showdown (Danger Slater did, because he’s entertaining as fuck). Both Pedro Proenca and Adam Millard shed their hair for our amusement, especially Adam who chose to wax his torso while reading to us. Later on, while I was boxing up books for Rose, I stole Adam’s showdown script, which he hardly got to read from because he was busy with his own agony. I feel like I own part of a legend now. My man Nick Gucker also won an art contest for his rendition of “Christmas Shark vs. Butthole Monster.” It was beautiful.

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Instead of Nick’s beautiful art, here’s a picture of me sitting next to Kyle Muntz’s magical pink dildo on a stick

And then it was over. I ate breakfast on Sunday with Gabino, Andy de Fonseca, Robert Devereaux, and Lee Widener (who informed me that the great Fred Gwynne had written children’s books, which I must now have). Karl gave me a ride back to the airport and I paid him in cookies. While waiting to get through security, I met ANOTHER BizarroCon attendee, Lucas Mangum, who was carrying the Con sickness. I hugged him anyway. Now it’s all done, and I’m left to slog through the holiday season and most of 2016 until I can fly back and show these foolish humans the biological superiority of the frog. Viva la Amphibian.

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