Get a box full of taters for my newest book, TATERSKINHEADS

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on September 10, 2018 by dwbarbee

Alright, so after a whirlwind of nonsense my latest book is available from Bizarro Pulp Press! It’s called TATERSKINHEADS, it started as a joke on social media, and now it’s a bloody greasepit noir about corrupt cops, heavily armed racists, and murderous potato monsters. It’s kinda like a season of True Detective that took place mostly at a Waffle House that had a xenomorph in it. It’s great, and you can buy it at Amazon through the link provided below…

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…or…

…you can sign up to get your very own personalized TATERCRATE! What the hell is Tatercrate? It’s like Lootcrate with potatoes, ya dummy. It’s this: You can get a copy of Taterskinheads that’ll be signed and personalized just for you! It’ll be mailed directly inside a box that’ll be way too big for some paper bound up by the small press machine. Tatercrate will also include: Comic books! Horror posters! Horror movies! Cards! Promotional art from some of my previous books! And best of all: CUSTOM TATER-HEADED ACTION FIGURES! This little detail is extra special, because they’re not done yet. You’ll see them later this week, but more important than that, there are only SIX of them! SIX CUSTOMIZED TATERCRATES FULL OF SO MUCH STUFF!

So how do you sign up? PayPal me a measly $12.00 of American currency at barbee478@yahoo.com and include your mailing info and any other request you might have. I’m a small press author, so for $12.00 I’ll pretty much do anything. Check out the link below, and if you want to taste my taters, sign on up. If you can’t decide, just wait until you see my weird potato-headed children.

Check it out on AMAZON

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“To Be One With You” (featuring my story “Cock Necked”)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on August 13, 2018 by dwbarbee

Status Update: Jimbo Yojimbo is still getting reviews HERE and THERE, and Taterskinheads is very close to being printed, and I’m moving into a new house, and oh yeah, here’s an anthology I’m in. I wrote this last year at the Ghost Town Writer’s Retreat, which wasn’t so bad if you shut your eyes hard enough. I wrote a story for this titled “Cock Necked,” which is about a man who finds a parasitic worm growing in his… neck.

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To Be One With You; An Anthology of Parasitic Horror is St Rooster Books first anthology. This collection features horrifying, intelligent, and disgusting journeys into the relationship between host and parasite. Featuring work by Paul Kane, Marie O’Regan, Jeffery X Martin, David W Barbee, Ross Peterson, Peter Oliver Wonder, Adam Millard, and DJ Tyrer.

Get it here

Introducing a brand new publisher of weird and excellent fiction: EXCESSION PRESS

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on July 23, 2018 by dwbarbee

My good friends Karl and Whitney Fischer have started their own press for weird, dark, and excellent fiction. I will definitely be submitting something to Excession, and I hope that others do the same. The Fischers have good taste and a ton of guts, and I suspect that Excession will become a powerful voice for weird books. Below is their submission call…

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Excession Press is now open to submissions!

Our reading period runs July 23rd 2018 – Sept. 30th 2018.

What We Want:
Excession Press is looking for original manuscripts 30,000 – 60,000 words in length that can be described as horror, science fiction, weird western, or fantasy. Our word count limit is firm, +/- a few hundred words.
We want high quality, character-driven narratives with imaginative settings and creative conflicts that will engage readers.
We want strong, memorable prose – every bit as important as the story itself.
We like our fiction to be surreal and dark, but more than anything, we want it well-written and well-paced.
Simultaneous submissions are acceptable but we ask that you let us know at time of submission, and we ask that you give us notice if your manuscript is accepted elsewhere.

What We *DON’T* Want:
No reprints or incomplete manuscripts.
No books that are part of a series – your submission should function as a standalone narrative.
No short story collections, poetry, or non-fiction.
No experimental formats or images – submissions should be text only.
No queries. Please have something submission-ready.

Submission Format:
File must be in a .doc, .docx, or .rtf format.
12 pt. Times New Roman font.
Double-spaced with .25″ indents and 1″ margins.
The first page should have author name, an email address, title of your submission, and total word count. Every page should have author name, title, and page number.

How to Submit:
Email submissions as an attached file to excessionpress@gmail.com
Include in the body of your email a brief (3-5 sentence) description of your submission and an even briefer (1-2 sentence) description of yourself.

Response Times:
We’re a small team. If we like your manuscript, expect a response 3-6 months from date of submission. We’re unlikely to send rejections but will do so in noteworthy cases.

Payment and Rights:
Excession Press offers a $300 advance on royalties, with 40% royalties on net revenue from print sales and 30% royalties on net revenue from digital sales thereafter.
Authors will have the ability to purchase their titles at cost.
Excession Press will be granted the right to publish and distribute your work worldwide in paperback and ebook formats. All other rights will be retained by the author.

Jimbo Yojimbo Progress Report

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on July 11, 2018 by dwbarbee

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My latest book, which you can still purchase, has been out in the world for over six months now. Things have been busy, so I haven’t shared all the publicity that the book has gotten since it was published. Hell, I’ve barely kept track of all the conventions I’ve where I’ve been selling this book like hotcakes. All of this sucks, because Jimbo has gotten some good praise and it deserves some recognition before I shift gears into promoting Taterskinheads. So here is an official tally of all the places where Jimbo has been featured. Get ready for some links.

-An excerpt from Jimbo was published over at Entropy Magazine.
-A review over at Cultured Vultures
-A video review by Dr. Benjamin Anthony
-A review by Michael Patrick Hicks, who says it’s “both odd and insanely dangerous and as familiar and comforting as country gravy
-I was on the Losing the Plot podcast!
-And the Bizzong podcast!
-The Irresponsible Reader has this to say: “This book is like the Mos Eisley cantina scene — something strange and interesting to look at everywhere, with a bit of violence and a bit of business going on in the midst of it all.
-A review by the Beardy Book Blogger, one of the best-named book blogs out there.
-I did an interview at Quivering Pen where I spoke about some firsts in my writing career.
-I also answered some questions for Monkey Bicycle.
-One of my absolute favorite review sites, The Grim Reader Reviews
-An interview at Fanbase Press, a huge geek culture site that shows support for the indies.
-A review at Ginger Nuts of Horror (thanks, Amber!)

Plenty more venues have yet to weigh in, so maybe we’ll see more Jimbo praise in the future. I also want to thank my good friend Lori Hettler for all of her help and advice in promoting this book. Now, I must turn my attention to making preparations for my next book, Taterskinheads. I’m thinking doing a giveaway with signed copies and homemade potatohead people.

 

DVD GIVEAWAY for reviews of JIMBO YOJIMBO

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on February 13, 2018 by dwbarbee

My latest book, Jimbo Yojimbo, is still young and new, and to help him get big and strong he needs AMAZON REVIEWS. Amazon reviews offer nourishment and vitality to an indie book competing with an internet’s worth of other indie books. So what do I do? Last year, for Bacon Fried Bastard, I held a contest where folks got a chance to win something if they wrote a quick review. HOW THE HELL DO I TOP THAT?

OH YEAH, I FREAKING GUARANTEE THAT YOU WIN SOMETHING IF YOU WRITE A REVIEW. That’s right, from this day until whenever I run out of stuff, you can win a dvd just by writing a review on JIMBO YOJIMBO’S AMAZON PAGE. Just post that review and then contact me to let me know. I can be easily reached on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or email me at barbee478 @ yahoo.com. Here is my selection of dvds that can be yours when you review Jimbo Yojimbo:

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And you know what? You can pick which dvd you want (as long as no one else has claimed it first, so I guess you’d better hurry?). And these ain’t bullshit movies I’m just trying to get rid of (even though that IS a bootleg copy of SAW, but that just means you get a kickass hand-drawn dvd cover by me). These movies are cool as hell, and when I send you one I’ll include other stuff like fliers, posters, stickers, chapbooks, and a couple of unseen dvds that I didn’t put on the list because I really am just trying to get rid of them. But maybe you really do want a copy of The Butterfly Effect. I don’t know.

SO YEAH! GIVE JIMBO YOJIMBO A REVIEW! If you’re reading it now, review it! If you’ve just bought the Kindle edition (which became available this week), review it! If you just plain want to win one of these dvds for free, review it! This giveaway costs you nothing and wins you some cool stuff. Join in and let’s feed my new book until it grows big and strong!

Jimbo Yojimbo, now on KINDLE

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on February 12, 2018 by dwbarbee

Great news! My latest book is now available on Kindle, so all you folks who are too good for paper and ink can rejoice! Go buy it with one click!

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This actually comes at a great time, because now you can get Jimbo INSTANTLY and then post a review on Amazon very soon. Why would you do that? Because tomorrow I’m going to start a DVD GIVEAWAY! Everybody who posts a review on Jimbo Yojimbo’s amazon page will receive a dvd of their choice along with other kickass prizes. More details will be posted tomorrow (including an inventory of the dvds, so you can choose which one you want! Holy crap!)

Con Report: Days of the Dead ’18

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on February 7, 2018 by dwbarbee

Last weekend I went to my first Days of the Dead convention. This story actually begins years ago, since that’s how long I’ve been planning to go to this convention with fellow author Matthew Vaughn. Vaughn’s an author, artist, and a great guy, but in the last few weeks he suddenly had to back out. So there I am with a table and two wristbands in my hand, and what happens? TWO Italian-blooded psychos bang down my door and invite themselves to my home state. What the hell, I figured. Let the barbarians in the gate.

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I’ve known John Wayne Comunale for a few years now. He’s a top level dude. He’s in a band, he writes, he’s covered in tattoos, and he loves evil. He came all the way from Texas to help me sell books, drink beer, and sing the fuck out of some karaoke. Then came Mike Lombardo. Mike is… insane. He’s a writer, director, and special effects artist whose mind has been injected by our creator with nitroglycerin and dick jokes. The man’s a mythical creature, and I set him loose on Days of the Dead mixed up with John Wayne’s evil punkness and my own hulking weirdocity. They were not ready for us.

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Mike’s like a carnival barker. That motherfucker can SELL, and what he was selling were faces. Bloody, shredded latex face masks that we put dead center on our table. It got people’s attention almost without fail, and a few ladies even hid it from view as they passed by. John Wayne had books and records and I had all of my usual wares. Between the three of us we morphed into a triple-headed dragon of shameless self-promotion and hard sells. I promised to suck a woman’s dick if she bought my book, and she wound up buying John Wayne’s book instead, so just imagine what he must have promised. That’s how hard we were going.

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In the midst of so many horror nerds dressed up as their favorite serial killers (real or fictional), rotten corpses, patch-covered punks, or good old fashioned goth chicks, we not only impressed them with our tenacious stupidity, but also all the tables around us. The guy from Vinegar Syndrome (which sells kickass old horror flicks restored to bluray) kept coming over to express how he admired our ability to make damn fools of ourselves. He asked me what animal I thought I was, and I almost said orangutan but wound up saying moose instead. He called me Moose for the rest of the weekend. Probably still does. Across from us was Terminus City gifts, very kind folks who helped me navigate some of the con’s parking policies and sold me a gift for my wife. On the last day, Mike, John Wayne, and I really ramped things up to make a few last minute sales. One lady bought something from each of us and we sang her praises for the rest of the day (WE LOVE YOU, DAWN, SERIOUSLY). Then we did some actual singing. First we honed in on “Crossroads” by Bone Thugs N Harmony, which everyone knows leads to hours of entertainment. Then I led John Wayne in a rendition of “Elvira” by the Oak Ridge Boys with no harmony at all. Then more Crossroads jokes. Then, my energy nearly spent, Mike broke out in the theme song for Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and I did my best to keep up. Then more Crossroads jokes. Then I gathered up my swag and bid farewell to all my new and old friends.

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That’s right. Horror movies, short films, John Wayne’s latest book, some cartoons, and hot sauce by Billy Mitchell. Despite being a greedy backstabbing son of a bitch, he makes a pretty good hot sauce.