Review: the Haunted Vagina

The Haunted Vagina is a pretty straightforward romance story.  Steve and Stacy are together.  Steve loves Stacy to death, but her vagina creeps him out.  So she sends him inside her vagina to find out what’s in there.  Turns out there’s a surreal little biosphere in there, with lots of inhabitants, one of which is a weird cartoony girl named Fig, who soon takes a liking to Steve and doesn’t want him to leave Stacy’s vagina…

Okay, so it’s not very typical, but it’s still straightforward.  Carlton Mellick has taken a completely ridiculous idea here and given it a more serious approach, mixing in horror and surrealist images along the way.  The result is a nice romantic story with genuine feelings, hard truths, and none of the typical stereotypes.  Steve loves his girlfriend Stacy, even if she’s a little abusive towards him.  Several times in the story Steve mentions things that he hates about Stacy.  She’s even a foot taller than him.  They’re an odd couple to say the least.  Their relationship isn’t some perfect symbiosis between two spirits.  It’s rocky, it’s flawed, and it’s awkward.  That’s the message here: love isn’t all sunshine and roses.  Love can be gruesome and repulsive.  But it’s still love.

Inside Stacy’s vagina, Steve meets Fig, who seems like a better, more innocent version of Stacy.  He wants nothing more than to return to the outside world, but he becomes trapped in the vagina, with no hope of escape.  I can tell you that Steve ends up with Fig at the end without spoiling too much.  It’s how he ends up with Fig that’s important.  And when they are together, Steve becomes a weird latex cartoon like Fig.  He comes to love her, and they are their own two-person species, mating for life.  I absolutely loved this idea.  Steve fits perfectly with Fig, more than he did with Stacy.  But just because they fit together perfectly doesn’t mean their relationship is perfect.  After all, this is love we’re talking about.  Repulsive, ugly, beautiful, nasty, sweet-smelling love.


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