NM/CL Tourney: Gertrude vs the Pirate Captain

Story Intercepted:

            “I’m not one to beg, as I find it loathsome and unbecoming a lady so such stature, but I must beg you to excuse this interruption.  Behind the outer imagery of a functioning kingdom, there are layers of intricate comings and goings.  Ignorance, they say, is bliss, and I could not agree more.  You’d not wish to know all the ingredients of your favorite sausage, I assure you, so you never think to question.  You just eat, enjoy, digest, and send it back to the earth with nary a thought.

            This is the same for the royals.

            The kingdom is at war, my people, and it’s not important to question the specifics.  What is decidedly important is that you place your trust in the decision makers as we embark on this tumultuous time.

            I could offer you specifics about my – and my husband’s, of course – encounter with a Pirate Captain lothario, but the details are not important.  Nor does a lady speak in rumors and gossip.  Rest assured, though, that this individual threat has been dealt with immediately.

            That said, it is my responsibility to inform you that your leader, King Claudius, has perished in a most retched fashion, but I shall spare you the details.  Early in the day, too, our esteemed leader of the warlord council suffered an accident.  That man just lost his head, as it were.  It is my responsibility to lead you, Denmark.  And lead you I shall.

            I’ll offer no other specifics, but for those that sling the rumors that I’m an ice queen and vicious bitch, well, rest assured there is truth to those things.  I’m adept at protecting myself and seizing an opportunity.”

            Yours,

            Queen Gertrude

Gertrude vs Pirate

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