NM/CL Tourney: Ophelia vs the Green Wizch

Ophelia, unaware of her father’s demise (which should have been at the hands of Hamlet, rather than a green alien from Inpire, Inc.  Had she even known this, her simplistic brain would not have been able to process it.  What was happening to Denmark at present was nothing more than a recycling, as it were.  It’s what happened when David Barbee, author, tried to re-tell what had already been retold by William S. Burroughs, and retold prior by Franz Kafka, and retold prior by William Shakespeare.  Ophelia was better not knowing), was rambling on about “taters”, as she did.  She was so focused that she’d not heard the Green Wizch.

“Child, make thee ready for Death’s welcoming embrace,” said the Green Wizch.

That got her attention.  She turned and asked, “Do you have a tater?”

“I’m in no position to grant final requests.  But, were I able, I do not know what a tater is.”

“I want a tater!”

“I am unfamiliar with this slang word.  Now, prepare for your demise.”

Sometimes it’s jokingly referred to as “retard strength”, which is horrendously offensive.  That said, Ophelia, so overwhelmed with the need for a tater, unleashed her retard strength at the Green Wizch.  In her simplistic mind, if the Green Wizch was incapable of providing her with her heart’s desire, then it was no more than an obstacle that needed to be removed.

The Green Wizch had not seen the blow coming.  Fists of fury went through the wizch and within seconds his existence flickered into nothing.  His final thought: “I wonder if she means potato?”

Green vs Ophelia


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