NM/CL Tourney: Osric vs Garry Snotter

Wizch’s are interesting creatures.  Even those that are not so established, like Garry Snotter, are interesting.  Their power is oft sketchy and errant.  So, to see the student go head-to-head with poor, squirrelly Osric odds were it wasn’t going to end well for the put-upon courtier of Elsinore.  Even as the two met head-to-head, visions of spontaneous combustion flashed in Osric’s skull.  Surely, the Danish countryside would run red with his own entrails.

“You’re no match for me,” spat Garry Snotter.

“I do believe that you’re quite right, my lord,” remarked Osric.  “Now that the outcome’s been established, the debate quite quelled, would there be anything I can do for you?  I’m quite good at fetching things.”

“Fetch?  Like a ball?”

“Or a warm cup of tea, perhaps.  I’ve also been known to be perfectly adept at drawing the perfect bath.  It’s all a matter of balancing the proper amount of warm water and the –“

Garry interrupted Osric.  “A warm cup of tea would be delightful.  Perhaps with a bit of honey?”

“Indeed.  I shall fetch it for you presently, sir.”

And without nary a protest, Osric sped off to fetch the beverage for the young wizch student.  The tea was followed by the fetching of fleece blanket, which was followed by the fetching of a pen and paper.  After Garry was quite satisfied he tested Osric’s bath drawing skills and found them to be spot on.

Garry’d never had a friend, much less a person so eager to wait on him hand and foot, so the duel never went further than the exchanging of mild threats.  After all, Osric had conceded that Garry Snotter would win.  Thus, the most anticlimactic of challenges came to a close.

Osric vs Snotter


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