Snufftoons, ch 8

CARTOON SEX!  You want it, here it is!  And there’s more to come!  Whoo hoo!


It was a bad part of town.  The neighborhood was dark, covered by a canopy of dark cartoon clouds.  The traffic signs and benches along the street showed permanent frowns.  Miserable cartoon cars sat on blocks, their wheels stolen by criminals.

898 stood before a building shaped like a gigantic skull.  The entire place bounced and vibrated to the loud bass music playing inside.  It was painted with splashes of bright pink and green, which cut through the gloom of the neighborhood.  The word “Goony’s” was painted across the skull building’s forehead.

898 approached the building’s double doors, which were painted to look like the skull’s front teeth.  Guarding the door was a small blue dog wearing a straw hat and ragged pants.  A cartoon shotgun was slung over his shoulder.

“Howdy,” he said as the alien came forward.  The dog noticed the cartoon revolver in 898’s hand and instantly slipped the shotgun off his shoulder and took aim.  “Now what you reckon you’re doin’ with that pistol?” said the dog.

The invader spread his hands wide in surrender.  “I wish to speak with the dog that is in charge here.  I have a proposition that will make him very rich.”

A cartoon surveillance camera mounted above the door watched 898 with its lens-eye.  The eye closed tightly and then opened again to reveal a mouth.  “Let him in,” the mouth said, before blinking again to return to its lens-eye.  The blue dog lowered his shotgun and allowed the alien access.

Inside the club, 898’s senses were overtaken by smoke and more loud booming music.  Neon lights added flashing psychedelic hues to the sour darkness.

Various female toons could be seen on elevated stages, dancing around and flaunting their toon nudity.  Most were human girls, but there were also a few foxes and a panda.  The girls slithered and gyrated about, batting their large toon eyes and bouncing large toon breasts.

Surrounding the stages were male toons, almost all of them dogs.  There were burly St Bernards, sharp-dressed Dobermans, refined Bulldogs, gangbanging Rottweilers, and even scruffy mutts dressed like hobos.  Mixed into the crowd were a handful of cartoon bears and a pack of rowdy wolves.   The loud bass music thumped through the club like a heartbeat, mixing with the toons’ noise and laughter.  The dogs barked and howled at the ladies, and laughed at their own wild shenanigans.

898 watched them.  He saw several dogs smoking toonblood, sucking it through pipes and then exhaling giggling smoke.  Some sucked it out of little pressurized vials, shooting the stuff directly into their ears for the ultimate high.  898 wanted one of those vials.  This was definitely the headquarters of the planet’s toonblood market.  He hoped his plan would work.

A furry cocker spaniel toon approached 898.  It carried a serving tray and wore a bowtie.  “If you’ll come with me, sir,” it said in a droll voice, then turned and sauntered away.  898 followed.

The dog led him into the club’s backstage area, through several curtains and layers of hanging beads.  Eventually they came to a small room filled with throw pillows, with dogs and strippers lounging all over the place, most of them drugged out and asleep.  In the middle of the room was Goony, an old cartoon greyhound.

Goony was huge and black, with a few white splotches across his smooth cartoon fur like constellations in the night sky.  He lounged on a fluffy pillow next to a large cartoon hookah.  Sitting next to Goony was a human toon with shaggy hair.  He and Goony passed the hookah pipe between one another.

Goony exhaled a long cloud of softly chuckling smoke and motioned for the invader to come closer.  898 took a seat on a pillow across from them.  Goony, easily twice 898’s size, loomed over him like a black dragon, smoke leaking from between his fangs.

“So you’re the spaceman,” Goony slurred.  Goony and his friends were extremely high on toonblood, but while the others looked slack and stupid, 898 could see fierce composure in Goony’s eyes.  He wasn’t leader of the dog mafia for nothing.

A girl kneeled before Goony, sucking his long cartoon dog penis.  She was a human toon with long red hair and wore thick black glasses on her face.  She turned to smile at the green-skinned newcomer, and the invader watched her for several moments.  “I have a proposition for you,” he finally said, almost ignoring Goony as he said it.

“So I heard,” said Goony.  He pulled the redheaded toon’s face away from his crotch and pushed her onto his shaggy-haired friend.  “Let’s hear it.”

898 sat perfectly postured.  The black toon gun rested peacefully in his lap, and he focused hard to ignore the drugs and flesh all around him.  “Your planet has been legally annexed by Inpire Inc,” he began.  “Ergo, you and all other native inhabitants have been declared Inperial property.  As appointed invader, it is my duty to prepare your society for assimilation.”

The big black greyhound smiled knowingly.  “You people want our blood, don’t you?” he said.

“Affirmative,” said the invader.  “My invasion centers on the extermination of this planet’s power structure, leaving the majority of the herd alive.  They will live under Inperial rule and tithe their blood to us annually.”

“Okay,” said Goony.  “What’s any of this shit got to do with me?”

“To accomplish my mission, I am going to kill your Mayor and any who support him.  My offer to you is to become the new Mayor of this planet.  You have already proven yourself to be a leader and I have eliminated your competitors of the feline persuasion.  You can rule over this planet.  Do whatever you want.  As long as you meet Inperial quotas and keep the toonblood flowing for us.”

Goony smiled again.  He grabbed the redheaded girl and pulled her off his toon friend’s dick.  “This is one of my favorite girls,” he said, and licked the girl’s face with his long dog tongue.  “You want a go with her?”

She smiled at the invader and the sliver of green flesh betwixt his legs quickly grew long.  It curled and looped around itself and funneled outward at the end, forming itself into a little green trumpet that began to softly sing.

It was a familiar sensation, as 898 had gotten very acquainted with his body over the years.

“I’ve been watching you on the Clint Cobblestone Show,” Goony said.  “And as far as I see, you ain’t enjoyed yourself one bit since you showed up on my world.  Here, you deserve a little attention.”  He pushed the redheaded toon towards 898.  She fell against the alien with a giggle and began rubbing her large breasts in his face.  She removed the toon revolver from his lap and knelt down to kiss the mouth of his trumpet.  She caressed the horn with her lips, then tongued its depths.  898 leaned back and relaxed.

“So you killed Cat Capone and those other litter-sniffers?” Goony asked, puffing on his hookah pipe again.

“Yes,” 898 replied.  He closed his large black eyes and enjoyed the blowjob he was getting from the cartoon girl.  His trumpet sang its song, buzzing loudly inside the girl’s mouth.

“And I’ll have complete control of the city after you’ve killed the Mayor?  I get to run this place any way I see fit?”

“That is correct, as long as you swear loyalty to Inpire Inc and always meet your deadlines for toonblood.  If you cannot do this, you can be easily replaced.”

Goony smiled again.  “That sounds fair.  I’m in.”

“Good,” said 898.  “But there is a single condition.  You must do something to help my invasion.  I need someone killed.  Afterwards, you will be the official ruler of this planet.”

Goony looked to his shaggy-haired friend and chuckled.  “We got no problem takin’ somebody out,” Goony said.

“Good, because….” 898 stopped.  His trumpet now thundered within the toon girl’s mouth.  She glanced up at him, winked seductively, and pulled away as 898’s body quivered and the trumpet belted out one last loud honk.  Dark green slime belched from the trumpet’s mouth and coated the cartoon girl’s face.  Goony and his friend laughed.

The invader got to his feet and picked up his revolver.  He told Goony who to kill and started for the door.  Before the alien walked out he said, “Don’t disappoint me, Mr. Dog.  Your entire planet depends upon it.”

Goony smiled with sharp dog fangs.


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