Snufftoons, ch. 11

In this chapter, we get to see a black-and-white Betty Boop toon versus an insane pair of toons similar to Itchy & Scratchy.  Oh yeah, and there’s a little green man in there somewhere.  Remember to also buy Carnageland on!

Chapter 11

Large onyx eyes fluttered awake.  Invader 898 lay on a smelly cartoon bed in a motel room that had seen better days.  There was no furniture except the bed and a small table with a frowning cartoon flower sitting in a cracked pot.

Melody Moll seemed to float above him, a gray-tinted angel staring down on him lovingly.  898 blinked his anus-like eyelids.  His mind still buzzed with toonblood.  He couldn’t remember where he’d left his weapon, or who the gray angel was, or why he was even there.

A quiet hum filled the motel room.  Melody Moll sat on 898’s stubby legs and caressed his growing trumpet in her hands.  She stared at the alien’s member, trailing her fingers down his curly-cue shaft. “It’s amazing,” she whispered.  The trumpet whined and sang as she played with it.

898 closed his anus-eyes again.  He remembered the invasion.  A bounty had been placed on his head, which he concluded was the worst turn of events possible.  “Where is my gun?” he mumbled.  Melody Moll said nothing, enraptured as she was by the green trumpet.  She slowly leaned down and took its wide round funnel into her mouth.  898 watched her cheeks bulge out as the toon woman sucked him.

He relaxed.  The invasion was still going according to schedule.

Was it?  How much time had passed?

The trumpet’s buzzing song filled Melody Moll’s mouth.  Her skull vibrated and her black hair stood up in spikes.  After several moments she finally spat out the trumpet and smiled.  “That’s amazing!” she said.  “I’ve never seen anything like this!”

898 could barely hear her words.  He could only manage a low groan of pleasure.  He watched Melody Moll crouch on the bed and position her sex over his trumpet.  She slipped it inside her, and her eyes bulged as the trumpet’s wide mouth scraped and stretched her toon cunt.

The trumpet buzzed inside her, filling her entire body with its vibrating song.  The curvy gray prostitute rocked back and forth on the alien’s cock, quaking and convulsing, and her large gray breasts jiggled with the vibration.

She felt unlike any female 898 had experienced before.  He closed his round black eyes.  Her cartoon body responded well to his trumpet, stretching around its mouth and absorbing the loud tremors of its song.  She came several times.  898 was too drugged to join her, his mind riding waves of absolute pleasure.

Melody Moll smiled to herself and continued to fuck him.  She quietly reached behind her and retrieved the black cartoon revolver from under the bed sheet.  She aimed it at the alien’s giant bulbous head, still riding the trumpet.  “Million dollar-dogs, here I come,” she said, just a squeeze of the trigger away from the bounty.

898’s eyes fluttered open just in time to see the barrel of the gun mere inches away.  His training rushed back to him in a tidal wave of furious shame.  He’d been fooled.  He tossed Melody Moll off of him, his trumpet letting out a warped squeal as it suddenly exited her pussy.

Melody Moll flew across the motel room and smashed into the far wall.  The revolver slid away across the floor.  They both stumbled to their feet.  The toon whore stalked toward the alien.  She let her black lingerie slip to the floor, fully naked now.  “I can do things for you, baby,” she whispered.  “Let’s make a deal before it’s too late.”

898 stared at her naked gray toonflesh.  He studied the dark nipples perched on her smooth round breasts and the pitch-black pubic bush framed by her wide, smooth hips.  She stepped up close to him and took the still-singing trumpet into her hands again.  It buzzed louder and louder until a glob of green ooze finally blasted out, coating Melody Moll’s hands and stomach.

“I can do lots of stuff for you if you take me with you,” she said. 

“You want to leave this planet?” 898 stuttered.  “This is the deal you wish to make?”

“Yes!  I’m a black-and-white toon, for fuck’s sake!  I’m nothing here because the in-color toons shun me!  They say I’m not wacky enough, whatever the fuck that means!”

“You aren’t like the rest,” said 898.  “You aren’t insane… or wacky, whatever.”

“Yes!” she said.  “There’s only a few hundred of us black-and-whites left around.  We’re second-class citizens!  I don’t care what you’re going to do to this world, but I want out!  I’m so tired of being alone!”  She burst into tears.

The invader contemplated this.  “You still chose to try and kill me for your own ends,” he said.  “But I respect that.  You understand the value of greed and opportunity.  Perhaps we can—”

The door burst open, and a strange pair of toons stepped inside.

Melody Moll screamed.  It was too late now.  It didn’t matter how they’d found them.  Tooth and Nails were the worst psycho killers on the planet.

Normally, toon cats and toon dogs hate one another.  But Tooth and Nails could never be described as normal.  In a world of wacky cartoons, they were the craziest bastards walking the planet.  They expressed their sense of humor by hunting other toons, killing and maiming for both fun and profit.

Their faces were masks of hysterical madness, both mouths drooling and giggling uncontrollably.  Tooth was a lanky cartoon bloodhound, rust-colored and wearing green overalls.  Nails, an obese yellow cat, wore a black T-shirt that was comically too small.    They both carried cartoon shotguns and laughed maniacally as they fired at the green alien.

Plump red boxing gloves blasted out of the shotguns.  898 grabbed Melody Moll, still screaming, and used her as a shield.  The boxing gloves pummeled her black-and-white body and she leaked giggling toonblood.

898 scanned the room for his revolver.  He saw it on the other side of the bed, lying on the floor.  898 let go of Melody Moll and dove over the bed for it.  Tooth and Nails continued shooting the black-and-white toon, almost ignoring 898.  They fired dozens of boxing gloves into her, laughing the whole time.

Over the blasting of their guns, 898 could hear the toonblood filling the small motel room.  It laughed its way into his earholes and crashed through his brain, overloading his mind with pure happiness.  The toon gun lay before him, and with much concentration, he reached out and grabbed it.

Tooth and Nails finally stopped shooting.  They’d blasted Melody Moll into an oozing pile of grayish cartoon pulp.  She was dead.

They smiled and hooted mad laughter, turning back to the green alien.  They pointed their shotguns just as 898 aimed his revolver.  It was a standoff.  Tooth and Nails smiled with long fangs and their eyes flashed with brilliant spiraling colors.  898’s mind was drowning in laughing toonblood.  His consciousness became an amorphous thing that poured out of him.  He’d never been this high before.

“Hyuk hyuk hyuk,” laughed Tooth.

“That million dollar-dogs is ours,” said Nails the cat, sneering at the invader.

Something told 898 that he wasn’t allowed to kill these toons.  Something warned him that he’d been given very specific orders and it was unthinkable to disobey those orders even in the slightest way.

He felt himself pull the trigger anyway.  The revolver spat out a little white flag with a simple round peace sign.

Tooth and Nails went limp.  They fired their shotguns, but all that came out were hundreds of pretty flowers, spinning into the air.  Tooth and Nails smiled, their eyes shining like lava lamps filled with colorful floating blobs.  Their skin became spotted with tie-dyed coils that spread across their bodies until they were nothing but bright blurry color.

The bounty hunters lied down on the floor, surrounded by happy flowers and butterflies.  They were in utter bliss, and their laughing blood slowly and peacefully leaked out of them.

898 leapt out the window, trying to escape the thick smog of laughter filling the motel room.


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