Report: Bizarro Fiction at MGA Con

Last weekend I went to my very first comic con, Macon’s MGA Con. Swimming in the nerdstream has always been a dream of mine, with the added bonus that I’m an author now, so I got to sell books and spread my literary virus to the masses. It was a strange and nerve-wracking experience, but in the end it was a resounding success. Now I’m here to tell you all about it.

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The lead-up to the whole experience had me very anxious. Even with all my arrangements in order I was still nervous as hell. Enter my wife, who took me out Friday evening to visit our old friend Tyler to shoot the shit. It was great and really helped relax me for the journey to come. The next morning I headed out to the Macon Centreplex for MGA Con. Instead of driving all the way around to the building’s entrance, I wound up parking at the loading dock because a sign said so. That sign was a bunch of comic book artists smoking next to the dumpsters.

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With my table set up and a hearty breakfast of potato chips in my belly, I started to take in my surroundings. Not only was the place filled with cool comics and artwork, costumed people were everywhere. There were zombies, ghostbusters, a pack of teenagers wearing cute anime/Pokemon pajamas (they looked like a hardened gang, actually), and even a fat Batman. In the afternoon my wife showed up to help me sell books and refine my sales pitch. There was some sort of talk about my pitch being blunt and awkward.

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Then my friend Jeffrey showed up to threaten me with cannibalism, which he’s been doing since we were in kindergarten. He wound up scaring off a potential buyer, but then made up for it by buying a copy of Thunderpussy for his girlfriend. I noticed that Thunderpussy was popular with women, actually. The cool ones, that is. Some women shielded their childrens’ eyes when walking by my table. I took those instances as endorsements. Before he left Jeffrey gave my wife a Dark Phoenix bobblehead, which was awesome of him.

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On Sunday it rained cats and dogs and I practically hydroplaned my way to the Centreplex. I came to realize that rednecks really liked A Town Called Suckhole. One guy said I was lucky to be able to display the rebel flag on the cover of my book, because oppression or something. Others asked if the book was anything like their favorite television programs, Duck Dynasty and Honey Boo Boo. While wincing internally, I smiled and said “Hell yeah!”

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That’s a print that artist Budd Root let me have from his table. I’m going to frame it for my office. Mr. Root is an awesome artist and draws one of my favorite things in the world: boobs. By the end of the con I had sold almost all of my books and all anxiety had been lifted from me. Happy and content, I left the con and made sure to rub Aku’s tummy on my way out.

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I came home and reported the success to my wife. Then we watched the Golden Compass together. I have one last book, a copy of Thunderpussy, and i’m planning to take it to Avalon Comics in Macon, where it will be available for purchase. Now that it’s all over I’d like to thank everyone for their support, those who bought a book or made conversation with me. It was a great experience and I’ll definitely be there next year, hopefully with even more books.

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