Jimbo Yojimbo is OUT NOW!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on January 3, 2018 by dwbarbee

It’s a new year and my new book is now available! Head to Amazon to get a copy of Jimbo Yojimbo!

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It’s already got a review that goes a little something like this:

“If you’re familiar with David W. Barbee, you know his signature knock-you-down-and-drag-you-along-for-the-ride style of storytelling. Jimbo Yojimbo is no different. You hit the ground running, dodging battalions of genetically engineered shrimp called Crawds on a daring prison break, voyaging down a trash river, meeting up with crazed gun nuts, and a final show down that you won’t forget. Our hero has a cuttlefish sewn into his face. He encounters a wild menagerie of humans, animals, and some things that might be both (or neither?) on his quest for revenge against the dastardly Bhudda Gump Shrimp Company. If you love weird fiction, samurai epics, southern style cuisine, bizarre mashups, or any combination of the above, this book is for you! It’s a crazy-wonderful dish of deep fried frog ass sashimi!”

Every copy sold through Amazon is a huge help, but remember that you can also contact your local library or bookstore to get a copy there, as well. That’s helpful to your community, and honestly, the bookstore or library will probably be getting their copy from Amazon anyway. If you live in the Central Georgia area, there will be copies at THE GOLDEN BOUGH located on Cotton Avenue in historic downtown Macon. Hopefully we can make 2018 the year of Swords and Sumbitches.

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Up for Pre-order: JIMBO YOJIMBO

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on November 28, 2017 by dwbarbee

My newest book is now available for pre-order! The link is RIGHT HERE. Okay, now I’m going to tell you all about this book and why it would be massively helpful if you pre-ordered it.

Jimbo Yojimbo is a redneck samurai epic (though it’s not that long of a story; none of my stories are). It’s something I’ve wanted to write for a really long time, always set in a twisted historical world with one man seeking revenge against an insane celebrity shogun. Eventually the historical setting became a frog-ruined future, the hero became a hillbilly mountain man, and the shogun became a soul food sushi chef. We even had some trouble nailing down a title until we realized that the hero’s name is pretty damn clever. Now that it’s all finished, I’m immensely proud of JIMBO YOJIMBO. It’s my best book to date (similar to the fan-favorite A TOWN CALLED SUCKHOLE), and I plan to write many more books like this one in the future.

Now, on to why you should pre-order it. It doesn’t come out until January 1, 2018! After all the holiday shopping is over! That sucks, but if you order it now with your Christmas cash, you can still get one of the first copies to be printed. It’ll be sent to you before anybody else. More to the point, like any indie author I am forced to throw my fortunes in with the mighty corporate god whose name is Amazon. It’s never guaranteed that you can please this deity, but your best chances lie in pre-orders and book reviews. The more of both I can get, the better position this book will have (hopefully) in the labyrinth of madness that is Amazon’s promotional algorithm. So yes, pre-orders will help tremendously. It is the only language the Bezos Beast understands. And to help entice you, I’m spending my holiday season promoting JIMBO YOJIMBO with tons of art and contests and giveaways (including that sweet Brian Keene blurb you can see on this here blog). Alright, sales pitch over. Behold Jimbo’s beautiful cover art (by Jim Agpalza) and the description below. Thanks for pre-ordering!

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From the author of Bacon Fried Bastard and A Town Called Suckhole, comes a countrified samurai epic in the vein of Squidbillies if directed by Akira Kurosawa.

A flood of frogs drowned the cities and gunked up all the guns. Now an evil restaurant chain called the Buddha Gump Shrimp Company rules a finger-licking shogunate of seafood mutants and murderous redneck swordsmen like Jimbo Yojimbo. Jimbo wants revenge on the Company for killing his family and stitching a cuttlefish to his face. After a daring escape, he will hack his way through hordes of crawdad soldiers, a church of quacking gun nuts on a jihad, and Bushido Budnick, the master chef who rules them all. But with every step he takes, Jimbo Yojimbo’s sweet revenge will surely begin to taste like shit gumbo.

JIMBO YOJIMBO is fast-paced post-apocalyptic redneck samurai tale of love, revenge, and a whole lotta mutant sumbitches.

Praise for David W. Barbee

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 28, 2017 by dwbarbee

The best way to toot your own horn is to have others do it for you. You just have to be willing to have another guy’s mouth on your horn. So here’s what an average everyday best-selling and Grandmaster Award-winning horror legend had to say about my work:

“David W Barbee is a genre of one, much like Joe R. Lansdale, Weston Ochse, and Elmore Leonard. Possessing a strong, unique voice that blends the best elements of bizarro, horror, action, and humor, his latest book is always a must-read for me. I’m a big fan…and you will be, too.”
— Brian Keene, best-selling, Grandmaster Award-winning author of THE RISING and THE COMPLEX

Who, me?

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I was on The Horror Show with Brian Keene!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on November 15, 2017 by dwbarbee

Oh, hey, blog. I’ve been neglecting the shit out of you, what with all my blogging over on Bizarro Central and the living of the life. I’ve had lots of reading, writing, and babymaking to keep track of lately, and I totally forgot to tell you that I WAS ON THE HORROR SHOW WITH BRIAN KEENE

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Yup, while I was on my convention bender this summer, I sat down with Keene, Mary Sangiovanni, and my good buddy Karl Fischer, to shoot the shit and tell lies. You can check it out HERE. I kind of can’t believe that I forgot to blog about it, because it was one of the best times I’ve ever had as an author. Anyway, back into the mines…

P.S.: If you’re attending BizarroCon this weekend, you’ll hear the announcement of my next book, which I’m forbidden to tell you about. But after that announcement is made, I can share more details, so keep a lookout here and all the other social media purgatories I call home.

New Release! MORE BIZARRO THAN BIZARRO!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on September 20, 2017 by dwbarbee

Hey! Bizarro Pulp Press has a new anthology of weird fiction, and I’m in it! My story’s called “The Owlheads Stalk at Midnight,” but there are a ton of other great writers in there. Get a copy at amazon!

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Bizarro Pulp Press presents… A showcase of the written word that represents the best of the weird and the grotesque; More Bizarro Than Bizarro is a gallery of the strange and unusual, including possibly-dead detectives, a beer-head invasion, some especially delicious cookies, the dream of Jackie Kennedy, and of course, the best story of a talking penis ever written in the history of classical literature.

Con Report: Cartersville Comic Con

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on August 31, 2017 by dwbarbee

I’m busy as hell, but I have to write a report of the convention I attended earlier this month. It was the last one of the year. In 2017 I went to six conventions. Now I’m planning for next year along with publishing two more books and bringing a baby human being into the world. Damn I’m busy. So this post will sum up what all happened while also giving you a few funny pictures I found. Like my table, which wasn’t very funny.

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Luckily, this picture is fucking hilarious.

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There is always a ton of cool stuff at these sorts of comic cons, and Cartersville didn’t disappoint. I didn’t buy anything, but there was a print of Deadpool holding Harley Quinn’s tits that I REALLY WANTED and didn’t let myself buy. The print was censored with post-it notes, and I suspect that Deadpool’s hands might have been blown off so that he’s just holding up bloody stumps and you can see Harley’s bare breasts. God, that would’ve been great. UPDATE: I found that image. No nudity, but it’s still good.

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Then there were the cosplayers. There was a guy dressed as the Kingpin who looked exactly like him, and someone in an Oscar the Grouch costume complete with trash can. Then there was this guy, with the cleverest shirt there ever was.

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Overall, the convention was awesome and I met some good people. North Georgia is full of hicks and I love them. They took special interest in A Town Called Suckhole, so I’m hoping that they will like my next redneck bizarro novel (bigger, crazier, and rednecker than Suckhole—which is all I can say about it right now). At the end of the day, I drove home through some sluggish Atlanta traffic, got some Bojangles for my wife and kid, and sat down and watched Kong: Skull Island. It was surprisingly pretty good. Later that night I put the cash I made selling books in this toy bathtub. It’s a great way to spend a Saturday.

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Con Report: The Ghost Town Writer’s Retreat

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on August 10, 2017 by dwbarbee

The inaugural Ghost Town Writers Retreat. A… thing… that will live in infamy. I was there. This is what I saw. Actually, I didn’t see any of the clusterfucks that made this convention what it was. After realizing how spread apart the event was, and how inaccurate and inconvenient the schedule was, I pretty much retreated back to my hotel room and wrote as much as possible while smoking legalized marijuana. I was a proximity player at best. The dysfunction of the Ghost Town Writers Retreat never quite involved me. But others? Other who were required to be an integral part of the event? To be involved with the event, and therefore involved in its dysfunction? People like Brian Fucking Keene? Well, you should go find what he had to say about it. It’s a tirade for the ages. Keene’s fangs are thirsty for justice.

My weekend was mostly spent with my friends Karl and Whitney Fischer. Karl has always been a good friend and you should read his book, Towers. The two of them picked me up from the airport, we hung out a while in Denver, drove through the mountains, checked into the same hotel, and then acquired our convention badges. That’s where we met one of the organizers, a gigantic blob who I’m told wore the same clothes all weekend and smelled like rotting cheese. I don’t know any of that for a fact. I just know that he handed us all the name badges and told us to find ours. Then he told us other things, all while stuffing his face with cream puffs, or some sort of white dessert thing. Karl and I separated, then I found Brian Keene, Amber Fallon, and Mary SanGiovanni, then separated from them to find Karl again, but got lost, and I wandered around this tourist trap Twin Peaks knockoff until I went back to the hotel. A pair of girls saw me toasting some Pop-Tarts for dinner. They walked past and said something clever and flirty and interesting. I replied, “Pop-Tart Dinner” three times in a droning voice. It was smooth.

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The hotel was run by little goblin men, and their complimentary breakfast was satisfactory even without burning my fingers on their malfunctioning toaster. On Friday and Saturday I got to work to make this con work in my favor. First I went to see a talk with Stephen Graham Jones (one of the greats, at least in my opinion), and I finally got to meet him. He read my story The Night’s Neon Fangs, but I missed the BizarroCon where I was going to thank him in person. Unfinished business, I guess. It was much like when I met Joe Lansdale at Scares that Care, in that SGJ was nice, cool, and just as awesome as I’d always hoped he’d be. Later that afternoon I hung out with Keene, who I could tell was having trouble with the con organizers. He was a man with a demonic monkey on his back.

We hung out with Keene some more, as well as Amber and a ton of new people I’d never met but who were lovely as hell. We also saw Nicolas Day, who is a great guy all around. Fantastic storyteller. He accompanied Karl and I to our recording of The Horror Show with Brian Keene. Keene’s been talking about having me on there for what seems like years, and we finally did it, even bringing Karl along for the ride. Getting to meet Stephen Graham Jones and do the Horror Show pretty much made the convention worthwhile for me. Then I went ahead and got a short story written from scratch, and that sealed the deal. Things worked out, at least for my obscure ass, slipping under the radar like I did. I spent all of Saturday writing, most of Sunday hanging out with Karl and Whitney, and then traveled by plane and van for 9 hours to arrive back home at 2:00 am. I watched the last few minutes of Game of Thrones and fell asleep. Now there’s so much junk to be done it’s absurd.

Hey, if you want me to keep doing those MSPaint Game of Thrones portraits of characters who’ve been killed, say so in the comments. I’m not gonna bother with it anymore if no one wants to see ‘em.