It’s been over two weeks since I came home from BizarroCon 2016 in Portland. Mostly I’ve been fighting a respiratory infection and eating Thanksgiving leftovers, which are pretty good excuses for not posting this Con Report until now. I’m even going to try to describe my experiences at the convention itself instead of just name-checking a bunch of people like I did on this blog last year. Generally speaking, BizarroCon is just an awesome time with good friends. It’s a lot like a family reunion, and it was nice to see everybody and just hang out for a few days.
The most important person I spent time with was Kevin Donihe, a fellow author and my editor. That’s us in the picture above celebrating the release of BACON FRIED BASTARD. We both worked really hard on it. On my first night in Portland I made sure to buy Kevin dinner and talk to him about the future, especially how my prose can improve so that he doesn’t get eye cancer just looking at the words I write. Several of Donihe’s eyes have been removed thanks to my early drafts.
Speaking of the future, I’ve been making plans to attend more conventions, and wouldn’t you know it, Brian Keene insisted that I make it to Virginia this summer to attend Scares that Care. That’s the back of Brian’s head in that picture above. When he told me to come to VA, I couldn’t refuse, especially because he wants me to appear on his podcast, The Horror Show. I also received a really unexpected gift. Christine Morgan made an entire series of Barbie dolls made into characters from bizarro books, and one of them was Psyche Delia from Thunderpussy. Then she GAVE it to me, and now it sits at home on my nightstand next to my bottle of Farmhouse Ale.
That’s right, BACON FRIED BASTARD had a special beer brewed for its release! I haven’t had this honor since A TOWN CALLED SUCKHOLE came out five years ago. The beer was excellent, my reading was a hit, and lots of people wanted to buy my new book. This was the best part of the con, and I tried to soak it in as much as possible. That level of attention can be rare, so it’s important to make the most of it. So I returned home with a ton of new books, t-shirts, a beer bottle, and a Barbie doll. It got to be so packed in my bag that someone had to ride with a bottle up his ass. Luckily, Ole Toadlicker has been through worse. Those who saw his performance: you will see him again….
So the convention’s over, Thanksgiving is over, and soon Christmas will be over, too. But before that happens you should know about my BACON FRIED BASTARD CHRISTMAS REVIEW CONTEST! Anyone, and I mean anyone, who reviews BFB on Amazon will be entered to win one of five posters along with a ton of other prizes, mailed directly to you. The goal is to get 25 reviews by December 25th. If you can give me a good Christmas, I’ll give you a one-in-five chance to win some AWESOME STUFF. Just review it and you’re in! Buying the book and reading it are also pretty helpful, but if the goal gets met I won’t ask any questions. You’ve got less than three weeks, so get on the bacon train! We’re already a fifth of the way there!